We all encounter situations wherein we are being pressurized into doing something against our wishes, or doing something beyond normal limits. Pressure from managers at work, family at home, customers at business, friends and colleagues every now and then,… there are so many different types of demands and associated pressure. Do you feel overpowered by others easily and give in to their demands? Or do you feel emotionally bound to make compromises? Or do you fight back and have bitter experiences? Do you succumb to the pressure, or do you handle it effectively?

The submissive way – Giving in to the pressure

It is very easy to give in to pressure and then proclaim that there was very little you could do about the situation otherwise. After all, not giving in to the pressure could possibility create friction between the demander and you, right? You might be doing a good thing by avoiding friction, but that does drive a message that you would prefer to succumb, rather than stand up for your rights. You might have chosen not to push back not because you do not stand the courage to do so, but because of a higher intention of maintaining harmony in the relationship. However, do not expect that the other person will have the same high thoughts about you and be grateful to you for having compromised this time. On the contrary, you would be driving him the message that you are easy to be handled. Forceful people then try to take advantage of this fact and manipulate situations in various ways to reap benefits from your lack of courage to stand up for yourself or from your overly kind and considerate nature.

The aggressive or arrogant way – Pushing back too hard

You would most probably know your rights well enough to respect your position, your time, and the limits of your commitments, and push back with full confidence, knowing that it would be unfair unto yourself to allow anyone to force you to go an extra mile. You have enough reason not to succumb to the pressure and thus it is very easy to become aggressive and push back too hard in these cases, possibly venting out arrogance. What should be remembered here is that although you would be able to win over for sure this time, being too aggressive or arrogant would leave behind bitter memories that could linger on. If the person whom you just fought back takes your aggression or arrogance too personally, you might have just ruined your relationship. Not just that, there could be times in the future when this person whom you hurt might have his chance to get back on you and make you repent for having been too arrogant earlier.

The assertive way – The right way

Experience tells us that it is not just about giving in to pressure or pushing back against it. There is one very good way you can handle pressure – the assertive way. It is an effective way of making sure you come out triumphant, while at the same time effectively handling the person trying to impose pressure upon you. In this way you need to be neither submissive nor aggressive, and hence, you are neither left feeling disappointed that you compromised, nor do you leave the other person with bitter feelings.

Everywhere there are people who try to exploit others and gain benefits from their efforts. Pressure is a useful tool used by such people. In order to be in control of one’s life, one must learn to handle pressure. And to be successful in life, it is important to not just handle pressure, but to do it in such a way that no one is left feeling like the loser – neither you, nor the other party. Handle pressure the assertive way. You’ll be always glad you did!