Have you ever been a failure? Image: jupiterimages.com

Have you ever been a failure? Almost everyone falls short of ones goals in some way or the other, at some point or the other. Wouldn’t you agree? If you did too, would you agree that you have been a failure then? Well, I wouldn’t. I’ve fallen short, but I’ve never been a failure. Wonder why?


Failure is not to be taken personally
Failure to achieve a goal does not mean that you have failed. It does not mean that YOU are a failure. No one is born with all the knowledge and wisdom to be able to do all the things that need to be done. You must learn everything along the way. Moreover, not all that you would need to know will be taught to you, and those that are not are the things that you would need to learn yourself, theoretically and/or practically. If you try and do not succeed, it only means that you at least attempted to do it. Further, it means that you now have more experience than what you did before your last attempt. The bottom-line is that there is absolutely no reason to take any given instance of failure personally. And if people should tell you that you are a failure because you have not yet been able to do what you have set out to do, remember that those telling you so would be unwise enough not to know the deeper truth behind a failed attempt, and you can safely ignore comments from those who as unwise as them.

It is not the end of the journey
You may have failed (be it once or for the nth time), but you are not a failure, not until you stop learning and trying again. Each failed attempt is just about having not achieved what was targeted for, yet! It is not the end of the journey, and you still have the option to keep trying. Of course, when you look at the individual goal in itself, like for example a deal, sometimes you will not have another opportunity to try for it as the deal would have been lost already. In such a case too, it does not mean that it is the end of it. The deal would have been just one particular instance of many such opportunities yet to come, or just one part of an overall picture. It just means that you will have further opportunities towards achieving similar goals or other goals leading to the same overall mission. There is always the bigger picture, and therefore it is never the end of the journey.

Getting over it is simpler than normally expected
In order to get past the regrets that accompany a failed attempt, you need to first acknowledge the shortcoming(s) of this instance. Many people, after failure, try to fight back the feelings and do not want to accept them. This only leads to frustration and depression, and delays the healing process. Be strong and admit the short-term failure. Do not try to fight off the feeling; just let it sink in deep. Doing this not only helps you remember the feelings behind such a failed attempt, so that the mind will pop them up the next time events are leading to a similar situation, but it also helps you get off the hook and out of the negative feelings faster than expected. It would sound simpler than expected, but after understanding that failure is not to be taken personally and that it is not the end of the journey, getting over the negative feelings is much easier if you acknowledge them, let them sink in, and then move on to the next important step of making the best of the opportunity.

It’s an opportunity never to be left unutilized
Take the failure as a learning experience. Analyze the situation and understand what went wrong this time. Then think about what could have been done that would have probably not led to the failure. Further, do something so that the next time you are in the same situation, you will not repeat the mistake. Better still, do something that will give you confidence of coming out successful given the same situation again. It could be anything – taking up training, reading about how to deal with such situations, preparing ground work that would help tackle similar issues… just about anything that you could do.
A failed attempt opens doors to many opportunities, if only you are receptive to that fact. This step comes after you initiate the earlier step of getting over the negative feelings. You need not even wait for being able to get over them completely. As soon as you acknowledge and accept the failed attempt, you begin to see opportunities that you would have never seen otherwise.

Make sure you are not a failure – Try and try until you succeed!
Dare to and try again if there is an opportunity. Before you get to this point, you would have gotten over the failed attempt, and further, made the best of the opportunities that came along, including being prepared for the occurrence of a similar situation. Daring to try again then is just a matter of fun with a feeling of confidence. At this point, you are very much on the road to success.
And if, unfortunately, you were to not come out victorious on your next attempt, it would only mean that you would be even closer to your goal than before. Just go through the same steps mentioned above once again, and try and try until you succeed.

Failure is what happens only when you stop and give up right where you have failed. Go ahead and be a success!


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5 Responses for “Have you ever been a failure?”

  1. jam says:

    Hi Mark, great hit you have here. Everyone for me is a failure but what matters most is how you get back on your feet again. In my case, the last couple of years had been a wreck and drag me to the detour, but someone somehow picked me up and dusted my knees and made me see the light again. Now I’m refreshed again for the climb. Cheers always.

  2. Mark says:

    @jam: Hi Jovir! Good to hear from you again. Looks like this time we have a disagreement, as, for you everyone is a failure, while for me one is not a failure unless and until he/she stops at a failed attempt and makes no attempt to move ahead. May be you just intended to say that everyone fails, and did not really mean that everyone is actually a failure? As I see from your case too, and thanks for sharing your experience, you did come back with a fresh start. That is what matters, and since you conquered your tough times and moved ahead, to me you are a success! Cheers!

  3. Jam says:

    Hi Mark, sorry typo there. Yup, I believe it so; sooner or later everyone will get to face their limits and eventually fail. But as the adage goes, what matters in the end is how you roll your dice. Glad to share my experience as well.

    I’ll drink to that too!

  4. John says:

    Thank you, it was very insightful. I’m trying very hard, but I’m still not feeling the drive the be the best as I used to. I think I just need to get past this little bump and I’ll be good to go for the rest of my life.

    I’m very surprised to still find many of my old friends still believing I am just as intelligent and very much capable of excelling at the larger stage in university. I think I should be able to get past this and regain my old form. Thanks.

  5. Mark says:

    Hi John, Thank you for the compliment!

    Looks like yours is not so much a problem of failure as it is of reduced passion and motivation to achieve the best. I think I can relate to you in this regard and, if I am not mistaken, the lack of drive towards academics could possibly be attributed to a change of priorities in your life. You said you are trying hard, but I think just trying hard may not be the solution for you. You should first focus on finding the root cause of why you are feeling the lack of drive. Once that is identified, attacking it would be much easier for you.

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